Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
