The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was not drunk enough for that final.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
