sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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