if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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