You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
