I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
