When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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