im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
