school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
