i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
