I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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