People in love make me want to vomit
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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