This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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