he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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