As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
