Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
