dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you win again, gameday.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
