Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
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