Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
