sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
