He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
