nut hugger
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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