I think i peed on brittanys purse
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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