I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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