I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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