So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
