new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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