The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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