Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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