Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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