p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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