You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
