saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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