Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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