trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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