Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
