I don't usually arrange sex via text message
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
