He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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