You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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