I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
