Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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