He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
