You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
