escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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