i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
