he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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