Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
