return my video game
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
