Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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