Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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