Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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